Youth Minister:  Laura J. Haftek
                Email:  L.Haftek@Olcchurch.com
                Office:  973-839-3444   ext. 113
Emergency Cell:  201-264-6408

    "The formula to truly flourish even in a complicted world is quite simple:  Put your faith in God, letting God be your hope, your foundation, and source of nourishment.  All God ever wanted for us was to love one another.  What a gift it is to love and be loved!"

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SUMMER 2010

    "The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him.  It is good that he waits silently for the salvation of the Lord."
- Lamentations 3:25-26

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Teen Witnessing

[[[ LINKS ]]]

* 2009 NCYC Attendee Witnesses - Part 2
* 2009 NCYC Attendee Witnesses - Part 1
* God's Personal Call - by Alessio Trivilini
* Praise Gives Life - by Desiree Stokem
* My Confirmation Experience - by Alyssa Greco
* Dear Fr. Mike - by Christian Graff
* Day to Day - by Krystal DeVivo
* Dear Fr. Mike - by Melanie Van Houten
* Dear Fr. Mike - by Stephen De Carlo
* Dear Fr. Mike - by Tom Patania
* Dear Fr. Mike - by Victoria Michna
* Dear Fr. Mike - by Angela Tarantino

2009 NCYC Attendee Witnesses - Part 1   12/18/09

Katie Bain, 11th Grade at DePaul -
    "I will not go home the same person after NCYC.  I have never been to a gathering like this.  It was truly amazing to see over 20,000 Catholic teenagers who were all brought up with the same beliefs!   My faith has truly been inspired by this opportunity to worship so freely.  I am a better Catholic, but more importantly, a better person after attending NCYC."

Kelsey Behnken, 11th Grade at WVHS -
    "On Friday morning, we participated in 'adoration' for the first time in our lives.  We really didn't even know what it was but, Laura, gathered in an area where she explained in terms that we could understand of this Catholic tradition of giving devotion to the Eucharist, a blessed sacrament.  While Steve Agrisano was singing, she asked us to stand, close our eyes, open our arms, and just feel Christ's presence and nothing else.  I felt feelings of hope, love, and belief in a place where everyone wanted to be close to Christ.  It was absolutely incredible to hold my hands out and pray.  I felt butterflies in my stomach!"

Melissa Behnken, 11th Grade at WVHS -
    "NCYC has changed me forever!  I have never felt closer to my family, friends, and most importantly, God.  Through song and dance, I felt God.  In the past, I have learned about God and always had faith, but I hadn't ever FELT God.  This amazing opportunity has changed me!"

Sergei Church, 11th Grade at DePaul -
    "I was never to Kansas City before, so it was a new city to experience and who better to explore it with than Jesus!  The teenagers singing, dancing, and chanting praises for the Lord is what I'll remember most about NCYC, in addition to dressing up like a corn on the cob to represent the Garden State of New Jersey.  Without the Lord, I never would have been given the opportunity to have such a memorable time."

Matthew Conrado, 9th Grade at WHHS -
    "Being at NCYC was one of the greatest experiences of my life.  I met so many teens that I bonded with because we shared a common faith without being judged."

2009 NCYC Attendee Witnesses - Part 2   12/27/09

Alyssa Greco, 10th Grade at WVHS -
    "Looking around and seeing 22,000 teens fill the arena who all share the same religion was an experience I will never forget.  When we came together to worship, nothing was stronger than our faith so vibrant and alive!"

Tommy Patania, 11th Grade at WHHS -
    "Going to Kansas City for the National Catholic Youth Conference was an opportunity for me to journey closer to God with 22,000 other Catholic teens.  I no longer feel like I am one of the few practicing Catholics attending a tiny little parish in New Jersey.  My quest was met as I witnessed the magnitude of our Catholic faith!"

Kathryn Reddy, 12th Grade at DePaul -
    "Things that stand out about my NCYC experience were the inspirational key note speakers on the topic of chastity and personal dignity.  I loved the 'adoration' experience and 22,000 teenagers walking down the streets of Kansas City in procession saying the Rosary.   Of course, I made some amazing friends, enjoyed all of the dancing for joy, doing 'the wave' in the arena with 20,000 kids, trading hats, jewelry, shirts, and everything else."

Desiree A. Stokem, 11th Grade at LRHS -
    "At NCYC, there was no need to be afraid of my faith.  I was able to unite with Catholic teens from all over the United States.   I was proud to be a New Jerseyian, dressed like a 'Jersey tomato'.  I could talk openly and freely about my faith without being judged.  The speakers, music, and huge gatherings were like nothing I have ever experienced.  I felt the Holy Spirit among us and Jesus walking with us.  I have recommitted myself to God, our Catholic church, and serving my community and peers.  It helped me think about my life and what I want to do in order to fulfill God's intention.  I constantly watched the deaf teens with awe as they sang and prayed in sign language at the closing mass.  It made me appreciate the blessing that I have and have ultimate respect for them."

God's Personal Call - by Alessio Trivilini   09/26/08

    God works in mysterious ways.  We will never find out how but we all have a personal call form God.  My personal call from God to me was that since I love music he gave me the talent of playing the greatest instrument in the world and that is the trumpet.  I have played the trumpet for many years and it's the great talent that God gave me.  But some times a personal call from God could be like helping out your family when they need it the most.
    When I first started the Confirmation Program at OLC I have to say it was a blessing from God.  Not only did I get involved in Confirmation sessions, but it led me to Youth Group, Peer Ministry and playing my trumpet in the Christian Rock Jam.  Coming to church activities helped me to take my mind off from so many things at home due to the fact that my dad is disabled.  I listen to my mom a lot and do so much for her to try to help her out because she is all alone, however coming to church activities and give to the church makes me somewhat special because I am able to teach and learn from others.  When I was small I used to go to church with my mom and dad however it didn't give me what OLC has given me.  I look forward to coming to church every Sunday not just because I wanted to be Confirmed but that I feel so different when I am around this religious atmosphere.  I enjoy spending time with friends and when you have friends you have each other.
    For me playing the trumpet gives me peace and makes me feel good about myself.  Playing my trumpet in church makes me feel closer to God than just being in the Youth Group or a Peer Minister.  We have to remember that life is like a rollercoaster.  You will never know what comes next however I do know for a fact that when I call God is always there for me.  Coming to this retreat (Spirit Day) brings you one step closer to God and being confirmed.

Praise Gives Life - by Desiree Stokem   2008

    There are people in my life that bring me down, and then there are the people that raise me up.  I don't want people to bring me down, but unfortunately sometimes the people that bring me down are people I am close to, like family and friends.  Sometimes even I am the one to hurt people; I criticize them and bring them down.  Everyone has at one point.  But in the end, there are always the people I can go to for anything and they always make me feel at my best.
    My feelings are unique and fragile.  Someone may say one thing and mean it in a different way, but I can't control my emotional responses.  If something that someone said hurts me, I often do not show my true feelings.  Sometimes I do not feel safe sharing my feelings and opening up, it may be because I do not feel comfortable, or maybe I don't trust someone, but not sharing how I feel hurts me more.  It blocks my personal growth.  When I am criticized, that criticism is also a block to my growth, and a block to my relationship with that person.  In other words, criticism kills.
    Everyone has had a tough time in their life.  I personally have had many tough times, with school, field hockey and other sports, fights with friends, and at work, but one of the toughest things has been dealing with my parents' divorce.  At first it wasn't that hard, because my dad was still living with me, but as the days went on, my dad started helping less and less, and then he decided to move out.  I am not an only child, I have three younger brothers, so I have had to take on SO many responsibilities on top of all the things I do on a regular basis.  My mom is only one person, she can't play the role of both parents, so I had to sacrifice many things, like time with my friends and myself.   My mom works so much sometimes that I have to take care of my brothers, cook, clean, do laundry, make sure they do their homework, make sure they don't fight, and get all of my homework done too.  Because my brothers were a lot younger at the time of my parents' separation, all they did was complain to me.  I had to keep everything under control.  Even though they don't really show it, they really do look up to me and I know it.  Yet at times, everything was so stressful at home that I distanced myself from my mom, the rest of my family, my friends, and at the time my faith was not strong at all.  Even with all the things I was doing to help, my mom continued to tell me to do other things and took out her anger on me.  The criticism hurt me a lot, and I didn't deserve it, but I didn't tell anyone anything, and I was miserable.  My mom knew I wasn't talking to anyone, because she could see the anger, the frustration, and the sadness in me, and my brothers, so she took us to a councilor.  But even there I didn't open up, who would want to open up to a total stranger?  I eventually realized that I wasn't going to be able to deal with the stress and criticism any longer on my own.  I started criticizing other people, even the smallest things, and I started becoming a very bitter person, I yelled at my brothers, I gave an attitude towards my parents and my friends.  The people I criticized then got mad at me, because they were hurt.  They asked me what my problem was and I told them nothing, many people tried getting answers out of me, but I wouldn't open up.  Keeping everything bottled up was destroying my relationships with everyone, and I felt lost and alone.  I had many emotional break downs where all I wanted to do was cry, and when I did, I knew I wanted someone to talk to; I needed someone to talk to.
    At first I tried talking to my friends, they helped, but not as much as I really needed.  I knew I needed more.  I tried talking to my dad like my friends had suggested, but nothing was the same, the divorce and my bitterness hurt more than I realized.  My mom has always kept us involved with the church by going every Sunday.  I was doing some things with the church, like altar serving, singing at mass and helping out at summer CCD for leadership hours for Girl Scouts (yes, I am a Girl Scout).  But I really didn't enjoy it that much, and I didn't tell any of my friends that I did these things at church because I didn't want to be criticized, that is until I went to an OLC youth group game night.  Before I walked in, I told myself that I was going to be confident, and I wasn't going to shut people out.  By the end, I met so many people, and I had a lot of fun.  I was very skeptical at first, and I felt really awkward, but there was something that I liked, because I kept going back.  I really started opening up, and I quickly put trust in the other teens that were there.  Every time I went, I felt like I belonged there.  When I walk in, I am greeted with overwhelming hellos, hugs, and people calling my name.  Those praises still and always will lift me up.
    When we praise others, we give them life, we make them feel good, and we each grow.  Recently I have been referring to youth group as "my escape" because in reality, it is my escape, whether its for a short hour and a half, or an amazing retreat, I always look forward to youth group, and I've learned how to open up to the people in my life that I care for, like my family and friends.  My friends don't criticize or make fun of me for going to youth group and church as I thought they would, some of them even come with me.  I've also learned from my experience how to be there for anyone through anything, even if I can't fix their problems, I can make them feel better by trying to cheer them up, praising them, and giving them life.  Being a peer minister has honestly changed my life, and improved who I am.  Even though I have grown, the problems I faced have not gone away.  It has been about 5 years since my parents first divorced, and the issues keep coming, but instead of trying to hide from them, I now know how to deal with them.  I have learned how to face criticism in a positive way by opening up and talking to the people that hurt me, or the other people that love and comfort me, like my friends, family, and God.  The greatest and most simplistic praise you can give is a smile.  Whoever is happy will make others happy too, we make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.  When I'm not smiling, my grandma tells me, "If you have confidence in your faith, you can get through everything.  When one door closes, He opens another, so keep that beautiful smile on your face sweetheart.  You'll find the other doors, I know you will."  Criticism kills, praise gives life; find strength in the people that truly love you, trust God, and think positive!

My Confirmation Experience - by Alyssa Greco   July 2009

    My confirmation experience is one i will never forget.   Throughout my 1st year in the Confirmation Preparation Program, I have met tons of new people, made new friends, played games I've never even heard of, and listened to very interesting and thought provoking speeches by Fr. Mike.
    It has been great and there are still many more adventures to experience in the 2nd year Program, before I receive my confirmation.   My faith has grown tremendously because of this program, getting involved in service, and becoming a Peer Minister.  I hope that the incoming freshman have as much fun as I did in this program.

Dear Fr. Mike - by Christian Graff   July 12, 2009

    Ever since entering the Confirmation Program and joining Peer Ministry, my faith has grown a lot.  Being involved in Peer Ministry makes me a lot more involved in my church.  There are many different activities you can get involved in and they are a lot of fun.  Before youth ministry, I didn't attend church regularly, now I attend church almost every week.  Also, going to all the youth group meetings and retreats, you become a lot better friends with the people you go to youth group with.

Day to Day - by Krystal DeVivo   2009

    God is always going to be with you at your best and even at your worst of times.  Whether it be a big test coming up, a big game, or a death in the family.  God will always be with you every step of the way to help you through it.  I can remember sitting where you guys are now (Antioch retreat) just about a year ago when I was about to make my confirmation.  The confirmation program helped me strengthen my relationship with God.  When I first started the program I did not go to church regularly and prayer was not a big part of my life.  That has changed since the Confirmation program helped me see that when you need God the most he will always be there.  I feel closer to God than ever before after making my confirmation, I pray and communicate with God more often, and I make it a habit to get up to go to church on Sunday morning.  A person who helped me along the way in my faith was my godmother.  She was my sponsor and I couldn't of had a better person standing up at the altar with me as I got confirmed.  She was proud of me that I decided to continue practicing my faith by receiving my Confirmation because she finds that kids often stray away from the church after making their confirmation.   Continuing your faith after confirmation is key.  I have stayed active in the church by becoming a Peer Minster, so I can try and pass on my faith to my peers.  It not only gets you more active in the church but it is a fun way to interact and meet new friends.

Dear Fr. Mike - by Melanie Van Houten   July 2009

    My Confirmation experience was amazing.  We did so many activities together throughout the 2 years and now we are like one big family.  The part of the journey I enjoyed the most was the retreats.  It is so nice to have a break from the real world and just have fun with all my peer ministry friends.  I also enjoyed the Sunday night faith sharing meetings.  The prayer we did to close the Sunday night meetings is something I will remember for a long time.  It was so nice to see everyone praying for each other and it truly showed how we all cared for one another.  Although I am already involved in the church through alter serving and peer ministry I will continue to stay involved to keep my faith strong.

Dear Fr. Mike - by Stephen De Carlo   July 2009

    My experience at OLC was a special one.  I met so many new people my age that, like me, wanted to contribute to the community.   However, this could not have been possible without the hard work and effort from Laura.  She gave so much of her time to coordinate events and did so with great enthusiasm.  Such as the Antioch retreat we had at Camp Warwick.  The staff that Laura had gathered together did an awesome job, providing motivation and leadership quality.  Ryan Behnken, for example, was an inspiration to everyone and an effective speaker.  I can honestly say that many people learned from the life lessons taught in the retreat.  In comparison to my other CCD, I learned a lot more and got a lot more out of my Parish.  With all I have learned from this experience, I hope to be an asset to my church, my faith, and my community.

Dear Fr. Mike - by Tom Patania   July 7, 2009

    To begin, it is a great honor to have you as my pastor.  I am so happy to be a part of Our Lady Of Consolation.  I would like to point out the great times and experiences I have had in the OLC youth ministry program.
    Starting off, before I met Laura and entered the confirmation program I rarely attended mass and rarely was involved in the church.   This has changed, however, as now I am a peer minister, a Lector, an altar server, and soon to be a Eucharistic Minister.  I originally did not want to be involved, but Laura showed me how great it truly is to be involved in something so wonderful.  Now, instead of just being in church when I have to, I am often early to mass to help set up and don't leave until after I help to clean up.
    Halfway through freshman year I decided to become a peer minster, and I believe it has been the best decision I have ever made.   Peer ministry is one of my favorite parts of our parish.  All of us in this ministry have a close bond with each other and are not afraid to share personal things with one another.  We are also always there for each other when it is needed.  I am now a better person as I have learned from the other peer ministers on how to better my personality and my gifts.
    On another topic, I have also been lucky enough to have had the monthly confirmation faith sharing sessions that Laura has made possible.  In these sessions I learned about my faith while strengthening myself as a human being and I learned skit-making and song- making skills.
    In the end, I also attend church much more often now than I did in the past.  I am very honored to have undergone Laura's great confirmation program and to be able to hear you speak every Sunday.

Dear Fr. Mike - by Victoria Michna   July 12, 2009

    I just graduated high school and I wanted to take a moment to write to you.  My experience with Youth Ministry at Our Lady of Consolation was a very positive one.  When I was first introduced to the Confirmation Program, before Laura came, we did not have a strong program.  It was just a class I had to take in order to get confirmed.
    During the next year, the whole program changed and grew when Laura came.  With the service projects and group activities, I got to meet new people and become more involved with the church.  The retreats were the most effective and most memorable experiences I had in the program.  As a team member, I also got to see how the retreats transformed people and allowed them to open up and really look at their lives, beliefs and religion.
    Becoming confirmed did not really affect my church mass attendance because I go almost every weekend with my family, either to OLC or to Polish mass in Garfield.  Mass gives me time to think and to reflect but also listen to the gospel.
    As for future activity in the church, I plan to do as much as I can.  I am going away to RPI in the fall for college but, hopefully I will be able to come back to attend the retreats because those were the best part of the program.  Thanks for putting the time and effort into making a great Youth Ministry Program that I am proud to be a part of!

Dear Fr. Mike - by Angela Tarantino   August, 2009

    I really appreciate being a Peer Minister in the Youth Program.  It has helped me grow spiritually and given me a sense of belonging.  When I hang out with people at Youth Group, I can always be myself, because I know that no one will judge me.  I really enjoy OLC, Peer Ministry, and Youth Group!